Valentine’s Day often conjures images of red roses, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. While these are beautiful expressions of love, they may not resonate with everyone in the same way. Valentine’s Day is a very corporate holiday, and intense advertising and social media can create unrealistic expectations. Love is deeply personal, and the ways we express and receive it are shaped by our individual love languages. Understanding your partner’s love language—and your own—can help deepen intimacy and make this holiday (and every day) more meaningful. Couples therapy in NYC is a tool to reach this deeper connection and make Valentine’s Day a moment for closeness rather than showmanship.

Image of a smiling Middle Eastern couple making a heart out of their hands. Discover how couples therapy in NYC can help you and your partner work on healthy communication.

The Five Love Languages

Love languages, a concept popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman, highlight the different ways people express affection and connection. While we all may appreciate multiple love languages, most people have one or two that feel the most meaningful to them.

Acts of Service – Love is shown through helpful actions, such as cooking a meal, taking care of errands, or offering support to make life easier.
Gift Giving – The thoughtfulness behind a gift, rather than the price tag, is what matters most.
Quality Time – Meaningful conversations and shared experiences create connection, regardless of the activity.
Words of Affirmation – Compliments, encouragement, and verbal expressions of love foster emotional closeness.
Physical Touch – Hugs, hand-holding, and other forms of touch provide comfort and intimacy.

Speaking the Right Love Language

It’s common for partners to express love in the way they prefer to receive it. For example, someone whose love language is gift-giving may shower their partner with presents, while their partner may be longing for words of affirmation instead. This disconnect can create frustration, conflict, or feelings of being unseen. If your partner consistently expresses love in a way that differs from your preferred language, consider why. Perhaps they are trying to give what they wish to receive or are filling a gap from past experiences.

Rather than making assumptions, have an open dialogue. Ask each other specific questions, such as:

When you say you need quality time, what does that look like for you?
What kind of physical touch makes you feel most loved?
How do you feel about surprises, and what role do you want gifts to play in our relationship?

Image of a smiling couple sitting at a table having candlelight dinner. With the support of a skilled couples therapist in NYC, you and your partner can learn how to deepen your intimacy.

Personalizing Valentine’s Day

Instead of defaulting to traditional Valentine’s Day plans, explore what would be most meaningful for both of you. For some, a crowded restaurant might feel more stressful than romantic. Others may have past associations with Valentine’s Day—positive or negative—that shape their preferences. Having an open conversation about expectations can prevent disappointment and strengthen your connection.

For long-term couples, celebrations may have dwindled over the years. If Valentine’s Day has lost its spark, consider small ways to bring it back. Even a heartfelt note or a shared activity that holds special meaning can rekindle a connection.

Processing Valentine’s Day in Couples Therapy

If Valentine’s Day brings up tension, therapy can be a valuable space to unpack feelings before or after the holiday. While the day itself holds symbolic weight, a relationship is built over time. Expressing needs and feelings seen by your partner requires vulnerability, which can be challenging in a culture that often emphasizes self-sufficiency. Working with a couples therapist in NYC at our practice, The Keely Group offers a space to navigate these conversations and repair any emotional ruptures.

Love Beyond One Day

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate love, but true intimacy is built in everyday moments. By understanding and embracing each other’s love languages, couples can create deeper connections not just on February 14th, but throughout the year.

Image of a happy couple laughing and embracing. Build true intimacy in everyday moments with the help of couples therapy in NYC.

Begin to Deepen Your Intimacy With Couples Therapy in NYC

At The Keely Group, we believe intimacy should be nurtured every day—not just on special occasions like Valentine’s Day. Couples therapy in NYC can help you strengthen your emotional connection, improve communication, and rekindle passion in your relationship. Prioritize your love daily and create meaningful moments that last a lifetime. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

Read through our FAQ page to answer any lingering questions you may have about couples therapy.
Fill out our convenient online contact form to get in touch with a skilled couples therapist.
Start deepening the intimacy in your relationship!

Other Online Mental Health Services Offered at The Keely Group in NYC

Couples therapy at The Keely Group in NYC is designed to help you and your partner cultivate deeper intimacy and connection. We know that balancing the demands of daily life can put a strain on relationships, which is why we offer flexible online therapy options tailored for busy professionals. In addition to couples therapy, we provide a variety of supportive services to help you navigate challenges and strengthen your relationship. These services include: