When Valentine’s Day Feels Hard: Tips From a Couples Therapist in NYC for Couples in Conflict
Valentine’s Day can often feel arbitrary and overly commercialized. While the sentiment of love and care is still there, for couples experiencing conflict, the holiday can magnify existing tensions. Instead of feeling like a celebration, it may feel like a battleground of unmet expectations and frustrations. Couples therapy in NYC can be a useful tool for working through these conflicts together. Here are some tips, directly from a couples therapist, about how to work through the Valentine’s Day blues!
Revisiting the Beginning
If a couple feels stuck and frustrated, Valentine’s Day can serve as a reminder of their early days together. When everything feels dark or hopeless, looking back at how it all started can be a powerful way to reconnect. Our couples therapists at The Keekly Group recommend reflecting on the first date, the first kiss, or the first Valentine’s Day together can help reignite positive memories and emotions.
When One Partner Doesn’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day
If one partner doesn’t acknowledge the day, it can be a sign of deeper issues. This can be an opportunity to start a conversation about unspoken expectations. If Valentine’s Day has become a sore spot, consider discussing how both partners celebrate and express love daily. Encouraging open dialogue—such as saying, "You used to do this, and now I don’t see it anymore"—can lead to a greater understanding of each other’s needs and wants.
A Catalyst for Growth
Rather than seeing Valentine’s Day as just another holiday, consider it a starting point for deeper conversations about the relationship. It can serve as a microcosm of larger issues. For instance, if one partner was expecting breakfast in bed but woke up to find the other already at the gym, there may be an underlying miscommunication about priorities and thoughtfulness. Valentine’s Day can highlight relationship patterns that need addressing, but the work doesn’t have to stop there—love and effort should continue beyond one day.
Common Conflicts and How to Navigate Them
One frequent conflict is the feeling that not enough effort was put into Valentine’s Day. If a gift or gesture isn’t received well, it can lead to feelings of rejection. Social comparison can also add to the stress—seeing what others receive on social media can create insecurity and resentment. However, rather than letting these frustrations linger, use them as a bridge to communicate more openly. A relationship should not be defined by a single day but by ongoing effort and understanding.
Moving Forward
Valentine’s Day, whether positive or challenging, can be a learning experience. If the holiday brings up conflicts, it’s an opportunity to address underlying issues rather than letting them fester. Love is about consistent communication, intentionality, and small daily acts of care—not just a grand gesture on February 14th. By using this day as a moment for reflection and connection, couples can work towards a stronger and more fulfilling relationship year-round.
Navigate Conflict With The Help of Couples Therapy in NYC
Valentine's Day can bring up unexpected challenges in relationships, but couples therapy in NYC can help you navigate conflict and reconnect with your partner. At The Keely Group, we provide a supportive space to strengthen your bond and improve communication. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Read through our FAQ page to answer any lingering questions you may have about couples therapy.
Fill out our convenient online contact form to get in touch with a skilled couples therapist.
Start navigating conflict and strengthen your bond!
Additional Services Offered By The Keely Group in NYC
At The Keely Group in NYC, couples therapy is crafted to help you and your partner build stronger intimacy and connection, and overcome conflict. We understand that the pressures of everyday life can impact your relationship, so we offer convenient online therapy options designed for busy professionals. Along with couples therapy, we offer a range of supportive services to help you overcome challenges and enhance your relationship. These services include: